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mine! mine! all mine!

there is something deeply gratifying about selfish knitting. it brightens my day, warms my soul and brings a smile to my face. I always love the yarn I choose for me. and I think I have really great taste in patterns. I forgive myself when things don't go as planned and I don't hold a grudge if I don't finish something I told myself I'd finish or even if I never start something I said I would. I'm very understanding if I'm too busy to work on a project because of other obligations. I'm also willing to let other obligations slide if I really want to work on a project. in fact, I am almost painfully accomodating! I am awesome!

I don't even know why I waste my time knitting for other people. it's not that anyone I've knit for has been ungrateful or that I don't enjoy working on those projects and I'm no more or less excited to finish. and FO is an FO regardless of where it's headed next. (oh, who am I kidding? sometimes I really do hate the way gifts can be such a time suck and keep me away from knitting something for myself. me! me!!) but I don't think anyone appreciates things I've knit for them anywhere near as much as I do when I knit for myself. yet, I continue to knit things for others. what in the world makes me do it? why must I be so damn giving? why am I such a nice person? why isn't there a font that you can use for sarcasm? you can use bold or italics when you need extra emphasis on something, but what if you need a little extra sarcasm? how can people tell? someone needs to come up with something. is there a congressman or someone I can contact about this? what was I talking about? did I get off topic again? hello?

oh, right. I want to be more selfish. it's in my nature, really. I really am selfish. but I guess I just wish it were more socially acceptable so I could be all, "oh, right. happy birthday. excuse me while I got knit me some socks." unfortunately, I want to keep my friends so I don't have as much time to be selfish as I want. I have all these gifts that are half-done and overdue, yet, not so deep down, all I want to do is knit for me me me! I need to figure out a way to make myself finish stuff so I can focus more on me. but, instead, I find myself thinking "I'll just finish this one thing for me, and then I can focus on finishing X for so-and-so." but even though I have 100 gifts to make, I have something like 10,000 things that I want to make for myself. this is what seems to have led to the half-finishedness and overduededness of these gifts. but... my ponchette... (pout)

ok, fine, knitting for other people is still gratifying. but, it's just not the same as selfish knitting. I really do like giving gifts. really! sigh. it will be a wonder if I can get all these done in time for next year's birthdays. someone say a prayer to the knitgods for me... I need help from a higher power. cuz, wow, how many times did I say "me" in this post??

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  • Blogger Carrie K says so:
    3:14 PM  

    ita! about the selfish knitting, about the need for a sarcasm font, about selfishness being unrealistically socially unacceptable, and why you have to pay attention to your frineds - so needy ;) .......and how much more fun it is to knit something just for me. Plus, I know I'll appreciate the darn thing. Not that I don't get appreciation, but..... top

  • Blogger scarletprincess says so:
    12:33 AM  

    I absolutely agree that making things for yourself is much more satisfying, because we will look after them and not put them on a boil wash or in the tumble dryer or let the cat chew it. We love our handmade things.
    And now I'm annoyed because I love that ponchette pattern and I live in the UK! Something else I'd like to do for myself ;o) top

  • Blogger sue says so:
    4:29 PM  

    Cute ponchette. I love Isa's cute cardigan too. I am sure it will look lovely on her when she can finally fit into it. Small children grow so quickly so I am sure she wont have to wait too long. Your little girl is a cutie by the way. Nice to hear from you on my blog too. top

  • Anonymous ruth says so:
    12:03 AM  

    hey! finally back in sac now. dude, on saturday i actually stayed awake til nearly midnight, and then slept for nearly 14 hours straight (missed church) haha. anyways, hey it was great getting together with you and wendy. (btw, wendy SO needs a knitting blog!!) her baby sweater is gorgeous. and your ponchette is going to look so pretty! top